Darth Vader Kitchen Remodel
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kitchen family room addition, kitchen hot water heater, refacing laminate kitchen cabinets, see more...
custom kitchen bath center, custom kitchen cabinet refacing, replacement kitchen cabinet doors, install kitchen cabinet molding, kitchen under cabinet lighting, refinishing old kitchen cabinets, resurfacing kitchen cabinet doors, solid wood kitchen cabinets, custom kitchen cabinet doors, install kitchen wall cabinets, refinishing metal kitchen cabinets |
| Budget: Open Lowest estimate:
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Job poster: |
Darth Vader |
| Location: | Boston, MA (02110)
(See map) 02110
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| Posted on: | 06/8 |
| End time: |
The job has finished
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Description
Long story short - my kid and I got in a bit of an argument a few years ago regarding the destruction of the Rebel Alliance, we got into a dogfight over the Empire's small-moon-sized battlestation, he found our unprotected exhaust ports, yadda yadda yadda, and before I knew it my kitchen was destroyed. Construction of the second Death Star is currently underway, and I looking for remodelers to assist me on a particular task:
1. Clean human residue from walls. Completion of repair of damage caused by prior rebel attempt to infiltrate via trash tube. Laser gun blasts on walls. Clean burnt cellular residue from one wall approximately in human shape. Replacement of wall panel acceptable if it blends in with the off white / gray of the walls.
2. Feeding tubes compatible with clone soldier face-masks. They all look the same, so we're tired of looking at their faces. Install something that we can feed them with assembly line style.
3. Non-laser based cooking apparatus for officers. They're tired of laser related pranks in the kitchen and assassination attempts via current kitchen cooking equipment containing lasers.
4. Force-proof dishwasher and blender. Hardware must be solidly secured in case of use of Force. If the Boss gets mad, staff would prefer nothing can be ripped off the walls by his temper tantrum.
5. Non-droid self cleaning sinks, since they're getting sarcastic as the war against the Rebels progresses.
6. Refrigerators that double as hibernation units - freezer combos to be installed on farthest wall from entryway. Bonuses to be granted to any contractor who can find units that double as hibernation units.
NOTES:
1. BONUS: Destroy your rebel planet of choice Crews capable of completing kitchen before completion of Death Star eligible for extra rewards. Ewoks for your kids for crews that complete work on time. Destruction of the rebel planet of your choice for the manager who comes in under budget and ahead of schedule.
2. PENALTY: Do not think badly of the Dark Lord or you die. This bid is contingent upon keeping your head. If you die in the course of the work, payment will not be issued. WARNING: Anyone who thinks badly of the Dark Lord dies. That is why we are seeking further bids this week; repair crew for task one had some bad ideas and were choked a la "The Force". Don't force us to have to seek even more bids.
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Finished with no questions
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